Our youngest is in the midst of a gap year before heading to college. I will admit that I was a bit nervous at first. It is hard to resist the urge to press on, keep the ball rolling, avoid idleness at all costs. But all that pressure can sometimes backfire and then it becomes so very obvious that taking a breath, taking a step back, finding some time to really contemplate the next move is what is called for.
There are different approaches to taking a gap year. Some students apply and are accepted to a four year college or university in their senior year of high school and then make a decision to defer their start date for a semester or a year. Others delay applying to college until the gap year is under way. The primary purpose of the gap year is to take time for experiential learning, travel, volunteer work or other worthy pursuits before embarking on undergraduate or graduate education. Underlying these activities is an opportunity for self-reflection that can help a student uncover what they want to focus on in school with renewed intention.
As a parent, it can feel a bit unsettling to allow your fresh out of high school child to embark on a journey of self-discovery rather than move directly from high school to college. Will they make good use of the time? Will they actually go to college when it is time? Will it be strange for them to enter college a year behind their peers? I definitely have had these thoughts. On the other hand, I am witnessing my own child grow, mature and hone his talents in a way that I must acknowledge makes me feel that this was the right decision for our family.
Since embarking on the gap year, my son has been able to clearly articulate what it is he wants to do in college. With the help of a fabulous independent college counselor, he has identified a list of schools that fit his personality and academic focus, completed all of the necessary tasks associated with applying to college and had gotten everything submitted on time, all without one bit of nudging from his parents! He has received an acceptance letter from one of his top choice schools and is waiting for some other offers before making a final decision on where to head in the fall.
I know that some may argue that a gap year is a luxury that not all students or families can afford. As every family situation is different I certainly know this can be true for some. On the other hand, not all gap years need to be costly. Many students stay at home during their gap year and build their experiences while also taking on a part time job or an internship that can lead to career opportunities in the future. There is also something to be said for entering college with clear direction and getting through in four years instead of landing unprepared in the first year and needing to take that fifth or sixth year to finally get it all sorted out.
Parenting is a humbling business. As I try to bring up great kids, I find again and again that they teach me at least as much as I teach them. Watching my son move through his gap year and prepare himself to head off to college this fall, I am proud of they young man he is becoming and grateful for the chance to know him.
Jennipher Lommen is a Certified Financial Planner TM and Enrolled Agent who offers comprehensive financial planning and tax advice to clients in Santa Cruz, CA and beyond.
